"it'll never be the same again" - when this line of thought came into my head this morning it had a dramatic & emotional meaning and impact on me, which i will elaborate on in a min. I fear for the people who see me on my walks when this shit happens. walking crying scarf headed lady

but first - as i thought more on it in my attempts to calm myself and see clearly, i realized that that statement is true throughout life...
you graduate from highschool - it'll never be the same
you graduate college - it'll never be the same
you have a baby - it'll NEVER be the same
you get married - it'll never be the same
you get divorce - it'll never be the same
you get your heart broken - it'll never be the same
you kid's grow up - it'll never be the same
your parents health change - it'll never be the same
a loved one dies -it'll never be the same
you get it....we adjust to the new normal (greatest concept ever) - it's harder with some than others obv.

of course today, in my head, it's about cancer.
on my walk, on my ipod i was listening to the song The Blinding Crash by Li'l Cap'n Travis.
the song is about innocent simple days of love, they have such a way with lyrics to envoke that feeling
and i know it'll never be the same anyway, love n stuff changes as you grow older, it's not
but right now, with my body & my life & my brain so significanly altered, the concept of simplicity couldn't be further from my grasp - it feels like mourning....

...excerpt from Blinding Crash by Li'l Cap'n Travis

"wanna hold you forever baby

wanna feel you forever baby

sipping straws together baby

blinding crash lasts forever baby

blinding crash lasts forever baby

its codler & colder without you baby

don't cry it ain't nothing but a thing

keep my picture in your jeans

keep your jeans at the foot of the bed

keep good thoughts in your head

keep holding on for the end

when we rock n roll it over again"