one thing i noticed last week during the worry & doubt days - was that i put life stuff on hold. I had decided to call my tattoo guy and schedule something, but i conciously didn't last week. I am planning to join the Y, but whenever i had a time slot and thought about going there. I didn't. I need a hair trim, but wasn't about to plan that if i was gonna lose it again. I didn't fill my surgery prescriptions. I put off lunch plans. I evaded my friends prompting to talk about our disney trip this ummer.
If i did talk about future stuff i felt aware that inside i wasn't meaning it, i was just talking to keep up appearances.
One of my new years goals this year was to Live Now - this includes even stuff like wearing a new item of clothing or new lip gloss right away, as i have always had a tendency to save stuff i love for some nebulous ideal day or situation. Or for when i deserved it - whatever that means.
feeling that on hold feeling last week was familiar and yucky and i won't do it!
so now if i don't join the Y or call Chris Gunn, it's cos i'm just lazy :)

***addendum***
a dear friend pointed out that as lovely as living in the moment is - it is also a great comfort to have a list of things to do tomorrow or the next day, because you know you have time and will be there to do them. . So the counters to putting life on hold are both living for the moment AND making plans..