Age vs Energy

There’s always so much chatter about aging, getting older, combatting aging, anti-aging, blah blah blah - it’s obviously a huge opportunity for marketing products, services and botox. 

It is often a brutal kick in the ass when you look in the mirror one day and see the signs on your face, or that longing nostalgia when you see an old picture of yourself younger and then…compare…with yourself…that’s not ever a good thing. I won’t even go into the media and the images we are bombarded with.

This is even harder when you have gone through cancer treatment and it seems like the aging is accelerated, like one year you were energetic, fun loving, cute, had great hair and light in your eyes, and next thing you know, aches, exhaustion, dull skin, weird ass hair (not ass hair, that does not happen), sadness in your eyes, and you are a different person, in too short of a time for it to feel ok. 

I’m not immune to all of this, I am not gonna gloss over it all and say it’s easy, but I do have a lot to say on the alternative perspectives and I believe in them deeply.  I will admit that genetically and perhaps lifestyle-y I am blessed with a propensity to appear younger than my number age, or what people think my number age is supposed to look like, and this is part of the comparison problem, everyone is truly different at a base level and sometimes we just can’t have what we wish we had when it comes to some physical things, c’est la vie.

Genetics aside, I still have hair ravaged by cancer treatment, a face that does not look like it did even 5 years ago let alone 15 and other “signs” if aging that depending on the day I find hard to accept - it really all has to do with my mood and how much I’m showing up for the other joy seeking moments in my life. 

But we can change our thoughts, this is in our power and it’s a powerful thing. 

Consider the quote in the photo attached in this post -  “I don’t believe in age, I believe in energy. Don’t let age dictate what you can and cannot do” - said by Tao Porchon-Lynch who taught yoga till she was 100 years old, so much packed in here.  You might say but age IS a factor in why I can’t…but the reality is, there is someone out there the same age that is doing that thing, so it could be said that the number age is not a factor.

I so believe in energy, and attitude and living an authentic vibrant life where you choose joy as much as possible. I also believe in exercise and incredible nutrition and stress reducing practices. These all contribute to that energy that Porchon-Lynch is referring to in that quote.  

Think about the Rolling Stones, and of course specifically Mick Jagger.  It seems impossible that he can move and dance and sing like that “at his age”, and the anomaly that is Kieth Richards, who’s hard living lifestyle is notorious, so many memes about that guy. But I think there’s a log to be said about the fact that they still do what they love, they ARE musicians, and they live the life they love and have fun (at least what we can see from what is shown to us the mere public).  

Another public person I admire who has a wonderful perspective on age is Diane Von Furstenberg - she says “I think that people are too afraid of aging. But aging is a good thing. Aging proves that you have already lived”  I love this.  

I realize that both these celebrity examples have some money and privilege and genetics to contribute to embracing a lifestyle that might make some of these things softer to absorb but I believe that it’s within all of our reach to change something in our outlook 

If we weren’t getting older that means we would be dead. Some of the issue could bee n the words, aging vs getting older.  Aging maybe sounds like something that’s declining and nearing the end, getting old is just…years passing.  

Getting older means being more wise, developing more compassion for ourselves and for others, more experiences to enrich and flavor our lives, and definitely means having way less fucks to give.  

Wrinkles do not change that, not running marathons or taking cross fit does not change that. Not that age has to affect those things either!  

A little botox or filler if that makes you happy is not a terrible thing - but nothing changes if your outlook and perspective don’t change too. 

So here’s my prescription for love your age no matter what:

1. do what makes you happy

2. move your body as joyfully as possible 

3. acknowledge your incredible experiences thus far

4. gratitude for LIFE and being alive

5. and it doesn’t hurt to eat vibrant life-force giving foods and not doing harmful things like smoking or drinking 

6. practice stress reducing stuff like mediation and sound baths and all that juicy stuff

Also - Dr. Michael Greger wrote an AMAZING book called How Not To Age that will blow your everloving mind - highly recommend.  

Life is too short to waste your energy on trying to combat things out of your control, and too wonderful to not practice and enjoy the things that are.  We are all dying, none of us know when, so find that glitter in the every day

If you are a cancer thriver you know that all too well and if that’s a struggle for you - I’m here for you, reach out

Perfect

I recently celebrated my 56th birthday, in Marfa TX, and it was perfect.

Marfa is my favorite place to be, so that was one perfect box checked. I was solo, which I must admit is something a treasure. The weather was amazing, I signed up for a noon yoga class at Big Sky Yoga, then I walked to the Sentinel (the best coffee shop in the world) to get an iced oat matcha, I got my favorite vegan sandwich at Bordo (the best sandwich in the world, not lying) using a gift card my friend Kelly, who’s house I’m in, left for me when I arrived, then had a super affirming and profound tarot reading with Alexis at Ocotillo Botanica one of my fave magic shops. 

Later I took a nap which is unheard of, woke up and cooked dinner using local pink oyster mushrooms that I bought at The Get Go then popped over to Planet Marfa because randomly my friends band the Born Twins were playing there.  A perfect birthday.

I didn’t even mention the solo dance party to Proud Mary (the Tina Turner version), morning tea on the porch watching the sun rise, and the overall sense of freedom I get just being out here in the desert. I just feel good here. No, I feel amazing here. 

I remember someone in my past having umbrage with the word perfect - their sentiment being that it set one up too much for failure, or an unobtainable desire.  A false sense of what the perfect world looks like, so therefore constant disappointment.  I get that, really, I do, we’ve all heard people say quotes like “progress not perfection” or “better done than none”, and perfectionism as a negative personality trait.  

Hear me out - my thoughts are that this angle of looking at perfection is based on societal and big media definitions, images and marketing, and yes, with all that in mind, striving for perfection is futile, self-esteem destroying and painful. 

So, for me the joy and the insight here is in knowing and feeling what is perfect for YOU, and then even further, being open to that being an evolving ever changing thing, so that you are not in fact ever reaching a place of ultimate perfection and being ok with that. So in actuality - perfection is in every moment - in some way - at all times.  Even when it doesn’t feel like it

Take me back to Tulum

I’m in Tulum at a yoga retreat with some of my dearest friends and realtor colleagues at Compass - this is the 2nd such retreat.

Last year for the inaugural one we went to Costa Rica - that was a BIG DEAL to me.

Folks, i hadn’t flown since I was in the air on  9/11/02 - a whole other story (well there was that one time in 2019 I worked myself up t go to London - I thought that would break the spell but alas…) - but since the metastatic diagnosis i’m definitely in this life to live it and do the things I love and dreamed of doing  - so off to Costa Rica I went, direct flights only, I burst into tears when we landed and I saw palm trees, i held back tears in the immigration line upon seeing giant photos of sloths and such, the gratitude of being in another country, of being back in CR for the first time since i was 20, just was so beautiful. 

Naturally I had an amazing time, made lifelong friends, ate copious tropical fruit, guzzled fresh coconut water by the gallon, found alllll the vegan food, and felt delicious from twice daily yoga.

Back to present times, Erin the realtor/yoga/retreat leader brought the gang back together plus some new cohorts, this time in the idyllic beach resort of Tulum Mexico. 

I have declared 2024 the year of Mexico - Mexico is partially my soul home - it’s in my blood. I’m half Mexican, my father Fernando Labastida was born and raised in Mexico City, and when he travelled to Dallas to study at SMU for a special law program, he met and fell in love with my Dallas mom - hence me (and my brother).  I spent my entire life visiting Mexico city every year, spending summers and Christmas with my Abuelita and all my uncles and aunts. Sometimes we traveled to Acapulco or Cancun or the nearby weekend play ground of Cuerrnavaca. I never spoke fluently as allllll my cousins spoke English perfectly, but I knew enough to walk to the corner shop and buy CocaCola, Gansitos and Orange Crush - it’s as much a part of my childhood identity and DNA as my daily American and later London life. 

But get this - I haven’t been to Mexico since y cousin’s wedding, when my daughter was 1, so 24 years ago.  I missed seeing Abuelita and 2 of my uncles before they passed away - that makes me sad. I feel an emotional pull to Mexico, a deep longing to feel my roots and history, so the year of Mexico it is!

I was very much looking forward to arriving in Tulum and feeling the Mex in me, maybe venturing on a frantic seeking energy.  It was surprising to me that that has eluded me here…

I’ll say as I’m actually writing this part after the trip - that by the end i did fall in love with Tulum, I had some experiences and interactions that inspired a connection and a familiarity - but for the most part, that THING Iwas seeking was elusive and I have some thoughts as to why.

Mostly I think it’s because the Tulum experience is not the ultimate Mexico experience, it’s kind of a created resort based on the insane beauty of the beach and ocean and jungle, it’s paradise, the water is turquoise, the sand is powder white, the trees are palm and there are giant iguanas on the thatched and tin roofs.  How could people not flock there, how could the small secret spiritual town not become well known, luxurious and crowded? It’s idyllic. It’s an instagram feed. 

But that also contributes to the slightly detached contrived vibe that I felt, from the perspective of my frantic seeking of Mexico that I was longing for.  Not to disparage, I highly recommend Tulum and would gladly go back at any moment to frolic on the beach and eat amazing food and stay at sexy resorts (hint hint…lets go)

The retreat was incredible - of course it was - Erin is a wonderful leader and the bonding and friendship that happens at Yoga retreats is unparalleled.

The early bird crew met every morning before sunrise on the beach with our strong ginger teas and watched the sunrise on the horizon with awe. 

The adventurous participated in cold plunges.

The curious visited the ruins

The seekers experienced the Mayan egg ritual

We ate chia pudding, jicama galore and laughed and cried and loved. 

I am tearing up writing this and remembering each experience with my gals.  

To be able to talk about the weird career of Real Estate in paradise fresh from a yoga sesh and go really deep about real life stuff all at the same time is the best.  

I’m not sure where this post concludes as there are multitudes of thing to write on this experience but for now I’ll end it with this…I’m so grateful that cancer woke me up and reminded me what I love about life and that I’m traveling again and doing the things I’ve talked and dreamed about doing for a long time, waiting for some indefinable moment of perfection - I am living the very important, very worthy, somewhat cliche existence of living my life to the max, because non of us know how long we have